9.18.2008

What would Meatloaf do for love?


(Anything, but not that.)

I thought about it for a while one night. Laying there, staring at the ceiling, with a fever and a raw throat. (Love, I mean- not Meatloaf.) I wondered why every time we begin to fall in love, it feels new. "Never felt this way about anyone before." "This is different." And what eventually happens? Heartbreak. Revenge. Recovery. Rinse. Repeat.

I had a revelation, so I wrote it all down (in complete darkness) in the notebook by my bed. Here it is in it's unpolished entirety, translated from illegible chicken-scratch.

I'm beginning to realize a few fundamental truths about love. It's not a catch all. Everyone has a their own definition for every different type of love. It's endless and eternal in it's variations. Sometimes people get hurt because the one they love CAN'T, I mean, literally CANNOT love them back in the same way. Because it's not in their nature, it's not how they perceive it. Love is a snowflake, it's beautiful and no two are the same and it's rare to stay the same forever. It always changes; it melts, it freezes, it steams, it rains, and pours. Makes a lot more sense to me now that the suit of cups in the tarot symbolizes emotions/wishes/dreams. What was I saying?



The awesome thing about BPD is that you get to experience fucked up mood swings that piss off and alienate your partner! I'll save that type of blog entry for livejournal.

How is this relevant to music and art? Obviously, love is the number one subject ever sung about. And I believe that love is the secret to art. Some call it passion. That's what separates the real from the fake. And also, I'm watching Meatloaf videos this week.

3 comments:

BEE BEE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BEE BEE said...

Meatloaf did have some pretty odd twisted art. But as far as your love chicken scrach, I'm so there with you. I've gotten the "I love kissing you" or "I love having sex with you" and I think those things are more believable than "I love you (as a person)." Don't you agree? Remember when we tried to write in the dark all the time? Because we didn't want to stop even with the darkness? The way we wrote was different... I mean that the way our writing came out on the paper was, even though we both couldn't see was different. I don't remember how it went, but think of it... Either my writing was down the page diagonal or the letters were generally straight but very spaced out. Do you think that explains love? We both go in blind and our actions come out different, even though the goal was the same (you know, writing on the paper). Don't know if this is making sense, but give it some thought.

I re-read this it looks as though I'm saying I love you... LOL Well, I guess it's true. Not in the same way that I think I'm loving my BF right now. I haven't told him that either, and I don't think I will. He doesn't read my blog to my knowledge so he wouldn't see this anyway. I LOVE YOU SALINEEEEEEE!

Sal Go said...

I didn't think of that-- that's a really interesting connection between writing in the dark and falling in love. You have to let go of your inhibitions to proceed and the results are unpredictable. And also the creative process is fueled by passion, I'm a firm believer that love is necessary to produce anything real.

It seems like overanalyzing feelings is a classic trap to fall into when it comes to relationships. I had some problems recently where everything said and done felt really under the microscope. I think it's better to just let things happen, like you're doing.

That being said, Love you too, B!